Emotional weekend

We've managed to make it to the hospital every day since Thursday night to see Jakob. Emotions have begun to get the better of us. There are moments we feel like everything will be fine and others where we don't know where to begin. He's so little and helpless and all we want to do is pick him up and hold him.

We find ourselves buying into the same watching scenario others have told us about. We could watch him for hours just sleep and occasionally yawn or open his eyes. He's begun eating formula through his feeding tube and is using the small pacifier regularly. He was at 27% Oxygen when he first went on the breathing tube and has gone down to 24% (21% is normal room air). We're hoping they're able to take him off it in the next couple of days. He doesn't seem to like the tube and finds every reason to pull it away.

The nursing staff is amazing and they've all been great about our visits, questions and calls. Jodi, Jakob's birthmother is feeling better and will be discharged tomorrow morning. We have made a point of stopping in to talk with her in each of our visits, and we're still so very thankful for her decision to choose adoption and us.

Over this weekend we've had times where we feel confident about the days, weeks and months ahead, and other times we've allowed doubt about our abilities, our financial stability and our plans enter into our minds. How quickly we sometimes forget the loving family and friends, supportive church family and many, many prayers that have been made on our behalf.

We just love this little boy and we want so badly to protect him, be with him and raise him to be the man we know God wants him to be. Thank you so much for all your emails, calls and visits. It's really helped us as we move slowly along this emotional roller coaster into parenthood.

We hope to have more photos and news for you soon. This week we will also find out more from our lawyer and our case worker. Oh, and we could still use prayer for Jakob's health to continue to improve (and his weight to increase), Jodi as she is discharged, our case, the judge who will preside over our case, our financial plans and peace as we go through it all.