Imperfect perfection

Kim has left for nursery duty at church and Jakob is still down for a much needed Saturday afternoon nap. What does that mean? The clock is ticking, and if I want to get this blog post done I'm going to need to do it quickly. You're going to notice this post is teaming with one overwhelming truth - the more I learn about Jakob, the more I learn about God.

Many of our loyal followers have more than likely seen Jakob's recent exploits in Branson, MO, in living color photos and video on Facebook. His mind continues to dream up more and more ways to meet adventure head on.

While we were in Branson with my parents, we had sort of a "Dickens'" time. It was the "best of behaviors and the worst of behaviors" for Jakob. There's so much he wanted to see and do and at times that was not the same as what we had scheduled to see or do. You can imagine how that went over.

It must be something wonderful to see the world through his eyes. The hotel we stayed in must have been like a whole new world to just play in, and he took in every part of it. We had a balcony that overlooked a small water pond where ducks would fly in and out of during the day. That balcony became one of two "rewards" which helped us get him to do what he's supposed to when he's supposed to do it.

The other was the pool. I can't remember what it was like when I first swam in a pool, but I do have other than fond memories of being dunked under when I went for a mother/son swim when I was his age. Last summer, Jakob slowly gained courage enough to go from being super close to me in the water, to holding himself out to kick his legs, to sometimes walking down the stairs into my arms and now finally enjoys jumping from the side of the pool into my arms. This makes for a great workout that usually ensures he sleeps well at night and also leaves my arms tired but feeling like we both had fun.

Kim is a total rock when it comes to times when Jakob has become frustrated. Also on vacation, we went out on the Ducks (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DUCW) which was something he had been looking forward to specifically for the part where they allow anyone to come up and drive (once you're out on the lake). Many kids went and it came time for Jakob's turn. He and I went up and he drove like a champ. When our turn was done Jakob was not and let me, the Captain and the other 38 passengers in close quarters know it. He was only yelling, kicking and screaming for about seven minutes, but it seemed like an eternity. All the while, Kim was trying to console him and all I could think of was whether or not the lake water would calm him down. . . if you know what I mean. :) My parents later tried to help me understand that he's in that stage where he's headstrong and needs to understand that while we love him that he's not always going to get his way. Again, the more I learn about Jakob, the more I learn about God.

Later, we went to the kiddie areas where they had all sorts of rides for little guys and Jakob was less than thrilled. Makes us think perhaps we're raising Speed Racer. We headed over to the adult and bigger kid go-carts and found out they had two seaters for parents with little tykes. That all seemed perfect. I purchased two rides and took Jakob to the car. As we walked to the car I tried to explain that he would have a good time and how it would need to work in order to have fun. I put him in the passenger seat and started to buckle him in. When he realized he was not going to be driving, he started yelling and thrashing trying to get to the driver seat. I did get him into the seat and we went for a great ride. Once we got back we got in line again and I explained that we were going to do the same thing again and it would be fun and we would both have a great time. When it came time for us to get back in the same car, Jakob exploded and tried to get in the driver seat again, but this time he was too inconsolable. I looked up at the teenage kid who, by just the look in his eyes, was pulling for me to make it work and said, "I guess we're done." He refunded our ride, I took Jakob over to Kim and then I walked away feeling crushed.

For the record, it should be known that Jakob didn't know he was crushing me. He has independent thoughts and hopes and wants just like anyone else. He didn't realize in that moment that if he would settle down and put his trust in me that I would have guaranteed the most exciting (and safe) ride he could have ever imagined. Again, the more I learn about Jakob, the more I learn about God.

As I'm writing this, I'm looking around the room seeing four different balls, a sock monkey jack in the box, a few Little Tykes vehicles and then the wall we've devoted to various photos of Jakob. The photos and images are all framed and I can honestly say I hung them all. I say that because they're all crooked. Well, one or two of them are straight, but against the others they look crooked and the others look crooked against the two straight ones. This is the truest example of imperfect perfection I can think of to write about. A few weeks ago, Kim and I thought about what our lives would be like if little things in the course of getting Jakob hadn't happened. It appeared that all roads, while we didn't know it were a perfect plan that led to Jakob. There were times when we were that screaming kid in the passenger side and God strapped us in and took us on the ride that led to Jakob.

I'm glad we trusted Him because I like my house better with generic breakfast bar crumbs on the kitchen floor, a request to watch Kung Fu Panda for the fourth time in one day and the clutching onto me for security when he's scared that no other person can provide. I'm thankful for moments like this evening where everything stops and I get the chance to bask in them. I drink them up and savor them just like God does with me. The more I learn about Jakob, the more I learn about God.

Tomorrow, our family will be here and there will be a house to clean, eggs to hide, food to make and a whirlwind of activity to try to tame. But for now solitude, peace and the peeking in on a little boy sleeping.

More soon.